Chief Minister of Karnataka HD Kumaraswamy had an adorable grin all over on Sunday as he looked to one side and right. He was going to begin the crisis bureau meeting he had called for to examine and favor the Common Minimum Program for the coalition administration of his Janata Dal (Secular) and the Congress.
My source — I call him Deep Throat — viewed the procedures through a keyhole in the enormous luxurious entryway of the Cabinet Hall and uncovered what went on.
Here’s the story as uncovered by Deep Throat.
The procedures were all sugary sweet however just till the last thing of the Common Minimum Program was hurled for talk, when Congress pastors detonated in outrage and trooped out in an aggregate episode. In any case, in the first place, the uplifting news.
This is the means by which Kumaraswamy started the gathering: “I am compelling glad for the immense advance Karnataka has made in only multi month since we came to control. In any case, I can’t for the life of me comprehend why this motormouth BS Yeddyurappa is making a wide range of assertions and bouncing all over like a channapatna toy. I am glad, in any case, to present to you finally the Common Minimum Program. This will enable us to close the entryways on all disasters and open new vistas to change Kannadigas into the most mollified species on earth.”
“Hip, hip yippee!” shouted the priests. The gathering was so hunky-dory, however hold up till you read the entire story.
The principal thing on the Common Minimum Program was ‘fair dissemination of portfolios’. A JD(S) serve stood up, took off what appeared like a cross between a Gandhi topi and a tennis top and doffed it with worship before saying: “We are satisfied with the only assignment of portfolios made by the fair boss clergyman in ways that will influence Machiavelli to pant in his grave. For example, Shri Kumaraswamy assuaged two contenders for the businesses portfolio by separating it into the ‘indus’ and ‘attempts’ for them. So also, he pleasantly cut up work into ‘lab’ and ‘our’. The best case, obviously, is the bifurcation of Bengaluru Development into ‘dev’ and ‘elopment’ and designation of the last to Shri DK Shivakumar. Indeed, even the world’s tallest statesmen are short of breath with shock over this…”
Pastor of Elopement
“What’s more, I am short of breath with stun,’ Shivakumar said in nauseate, intruding on him. His eyes were red. “My portfolio is getting auto-rectified in daily papers and WhatsApp to ‘elopement’. Misconception it, Hindu outfits are sending me SMSs, debilitating to make kheema of me.”
A Congress priest could be heard kidding: “Yet you halted elopements of MLAs, ha.”
“No jokes,” Kumaraswamy said with a lethal glower. “May I accept this open door to report that I have acknowledged a proposal by Shri Shivakumar to fabricate a changeless resort — elegant like the Buckingham Palace and secure like Fort Knox — outside Bengaluru for potential JD(S) and Congress deserters. This will spare us money that may some way or another go to resorts in Andhra and Kerala.”
Words like “virtuoso” and “radiant” could be heard over the clamor of work area pounding by priests of the two gatherings. Shivakumar whirled his mustache.
Uncover one trick seven days!
“The following thing in the Common Minimum Program,” Kumaraswamy proceeded, “is that we should uncover at least one trick seven days against Narendra Modi. As our educated partners are without a doubt mindful, Modi beats constantly his own drum to call himself a chief heavenly messenger of uprightness. Modi’s saps guarantee that the specific specify of debasement gives him goosebumps. This fantasy must be exposed and…”
The central priest ceased when a vast hand, bushy like a gorilla’s and with precious stone rings on each of the five fingers, went up. It had a place with ex-convict Shri Timbuktu Reddy of Congress. “I have just met the current week’s portion, sir,” he reported, pushing his chest forward.
All heads in the room, with the exception of that of Mahatma Gandhi in the picture on the divider, gave the thumbs up.
Reddy expounded: “We have confirmation to demonstrate that Modi is the Gabbar Singh of Sholay of debasement. He is the baddie behind an odious organization in Guwahati.” He raised up high a cell phone. “You see here the video of a rally Modi tended to in Mysuru as of late. Modi is taking a gander at a man in the group of onlookers for an entire four seconds. What’s more, this man has a little girl who is the schoolmate of the cousin of the person who outlined the kitchen insides for the overseeing chief of this organization that has zipped the exchequer of Rs 5,000 in impose.”
The calls of “disgrace!” that took after could be heard a large portion of a kilometer away.
Without complain, the gathering went ahead to wrangle on different subjects in the Common Minimum Program identified with the decision guarantees of both the JD(S) and Congress.
No bisi bele bhath, too bad
At the point when the central pastor went to the last piece about the Indira Canteens propelled by the past Congress government, the characteristics of Congress individuals fell. The gathering’s two elderly clergymen crumbled in their seats just as hit by projectiles.
Shouting, they went round the Cabinet Hall like headless chickens. One of them stumbled and collided with the floor. Regardless of the central pastor’s rehashed endeavors to ask what the issue was, this continued for quite a while. Quiet returned just when Kumaraswamy’s sibling HD Revanna stood up menacingly and moved up his sleeves.
At long last, a Congress serve talked up. “For what reason did you,” he asked Kumaraswamy, “supplant bisi bele bhath on the menu with the most loved delicacy of your dad Shri HD Deve Gowda? This is only seizing the coalition to fulfill the political and culinary hungers of your own family!”
Looking astonished, Kumaraswamy answered: “It bodes well, does it not? Bisi bele bhath is a khichdi, which helps individuals to remember what our legislature is. I have supplanted it with ragi mudde. Made of just ragi flour, it’s an epitome of homogeneity — what the administration ought to be.”
Unfit to process this, enraged Congress priests raced to the entryway, yanked it open and exited.
“Hiding outside the entryway, I dodged beyond anyone’s ability to see in the nick of time,” Deep Throat said.